Gene`s BMX News

[BMX-News]

*** The Schwinn Flu Outbreak In US! ***

Channel 666 News -- 04/28/2009


The Schwinn Flu Apparently Began In Mexico.

President Barack Obama tinkled his bell and blew
his horn Monday, stating that the threat of spreading
Schwinn Flu infections was a concern but "not a cause
for alarm," while customs agents began checking
people coming into the United States by land and
air, although no one has ridden in on the air as yet
but remember those lawn chairs and helium balloons.

The World Health Organization said there were
30 confirmed cases in the U.S. but no deaths.

However, one WHO official, Dr. Seuss Horton stated,
"The victims are really getting tired pumping their legs
into the air. We have had to tie them down in some cases."

Countries across the globe increased their vigilance
amid increasing worries about a worldwide pedaldemic.

President Obama told a gathering of scientists that
his administration's Department of Health and Human
Services along with the Transportation Department
"have DECLARED....... a public health emergency ....
as a precautionary TOOL to ensure.... that we have
the resources we need at our ....disposal to respond
quickly and efficiently.....effectively. There's a spider
on this prompter."

The acting head of the Center for Bicycle Disease
Control and Prevention, Dr.Trek Marin, said that
Americans should be prepared for the problem
to become more severe, and that it could involve
"possibly deaths."Especially if it spreads to
motorcycles and those Hell's Angels blockheads."

Dr.Trek Marin also said reports of the Schwinn
Flu Outbreak are increasing. Bicyclists should be
prepared for the problem to become more severe
as people are just freaking out over Schwinn Flu.
More and more confirmed cases today in the news.

The Center for Bicycle Disease Control and
Prevention, Dr. I Do Not Know Jack said that
people can try burning up the Schwinn bicycle
to help stop the Schwinn Flu Outbreak.

Just add a little bit of gas and then light it up.



Burning the Schwinn bicycle can help but if that
does not work, oh well, it is just a Schwinn bicycle.

Pacific Cycle the owners of Schwinn Bicycles since
2001 could not be reached by phone for comments
today as they where all out with the Schwinn Flu...
-- Channel 666 News reporting.

And now a few words from the BMX communitys
2009 sponsor - Schwinn Beer, - The beer of BMX
and the best beer on the long Highway To Hell.



When I come home from a long day in Hell,
there's nothing I'd rather reach for than a fire
brewed bottle of Schwinn Beer. Made from the
filthiest waters from our own River Schwinn.

Schwinn Beer is a third more toxic than any
other regular beer. The worst beer - the filthiest
beer - the deadliest beer. - It's Schwinn Beer!
_________________
BMX News Reporter, An Array Of People
Reporting The BMX News & Information
For And With ( www.genesbmx.com )